ICYMI #012 : French Fashion’s Drug Problem, Louis V’s Lady Loss, a Bella Hadid blowout, Bieber Blitz, & The Zionist wore Chloé
inter & extra industry implosions.
Happy Thursday everybody I hope you’re all doing well. I am ! despite feeling that we’re slipping further and further into a dystopia day by day. Sorry if that was dark. I’ve been researching this AI models thing that H&M is implementing all day plus reading about a humanoid robot walking the runway at Shanghai fashion week so forgive me if I’m feeling a little bit pessimistic today. And based on a lot of the headlines in fashion lately, I think I’m justified. Maybe I just need to go outside and touch some grass so while I do that, here’s today’s ICYMI
French fashion’s filthy funds
France is going to war with drug money, and luxury fashion is about to be collateral damage. Lawmakers are pushing a bill aimed at cracking down on narcotics trafficking and money laundering, and have buried in it a rule that’s about to rock the fuck out of high-end retail: the cash payment limit for non-French residents is being slashed from €15,000 to just €1,000.
The goal is to cut off the flood of dirty money that’s been washing through Parisian boutiques for years. This bill gives the government more power to seize drug profits and dismantle trafficking networks. They’re tres fatigué of drug lords using Rue Saint-Honoré & Avenue Montaigne as money-laundering drive-thrus, but it also means your favorite luxury maisons are about to lose some very loyal (and very cash-heavy) customers.
But hey, luxury brands have long had a cozy relationship with questionable clientele. Versace himself knew the value of celebrity, even if those celebrities had criminal records. He famously boasted that Tupac Shakur was rocking Versace both the day he went into prison and when he was released.
And just last year, an assassin in Sweden executed a hit, then casually strolled into Nordiska Kompaniet, Sweden’s most famous department store, to spend his murder earnings on designer clothes.
To make matters even worse for luxury brands, France has stepped up its game by auctioning off luxury goods seized from criminals. Over 11,000 people recently gathered for an auction where Gucci bags, Dior pajamas, Rolex watches, and even a white Lamborghini, once owned by a criminal involved in money laundering, went under the hammer. The total haul raised nearly €700,000, which was donated to fight drug trafficking.
These sales are an absolute nightmare for luxury brands' reputations. It’s one thing for a brand to know that they’re selling to people with questionable backgrounds; it’s another to have those very items being auctioned off publicly for the world to see. Behind the scenes, brands are desperately trying to buy back these items and prevent them from ending up as counterfeits or back on the black market.
I mentioned Rolex earlier—luxury watches, specifically high-end Swiss brands like Rolex and Hublot, are now being used as currency by organized crime gangs. Michael Gubbins, chief superintendent of Ireland’s Criminal Assets Bureau(CAB), told The Sunday Times that criminals are using expensive watches to settle debts and buy contraband. “It’s running-away money,” Gubbins said.
As the bill makes its way through legislation, the luxury industry will no doubt be scrambling over the threat of losing a large part of its revenue. I’ll keep you guys updated.
I tweeted last year wondering which luxury brand had the biggest criminal client base
and I polled my followers today… unsurprisingly….though everyone in my dms said THAT German man 👀
But hey, it's not all external threats shaking up the industry this week…
Louie’s Loss
Louis Vuitton has mutually parted ways with Francesca Amfitheatrof, their Artistic Director of Watches & Jewelry, just months after she was named 2024 Designer of the Year by Harper’s Bazaar. According to La Lettre, the reason for her departure is linked to "criticism of management," though the full details remain unclear.
Amfitheatrof, who joined Louis Vuitton in 2018 as the first woman in this role, quickly made an impact with her bold, sophisticated designs. Prior to LV, she revitalized Tiffany & Co.'s jewelry collections. A source who worked with her at Tiffany told me she was a powerhouse who slayed at pushing creative boundaries, always striving to innovate but constantly butting heads with corporate over the brand's more conservative approaches.
In her own statement, Amfitheatrof said: "I am incredibly grateful to have been given the opportunity to create the jewelry and high jewelry collections for Louis Vuitton. After seven wonderful and intense years, I am so proud of these collections and the legacy I leave behind as I embark on exciting new endeavors, which I will be announcing soon."
Still, her exit raises questions. Firing… sorry “mutually parting ways” with one of your most celebrated female designers, especially in an industry already criticized for the lack of women in top creative roles, doesn’t exactly look great.
something else that doesn’t look good…
I woke up today, scrolled X half-asleep, and this Bella Hadid and Fai Khadra drama from Paris Fashion Weekslapped me awake. Apparently, these two, who’ve been tight forever, had a full-on blowout at the Yves Saint Laurent after-party on March 11. Eyewitnesses say Bella was telling Fai to leave her alone all night, but he wouldn’t—kept coming at her, verbally tearing into her, even throwing his hands up all aggressive. Didn’t get physical, thank God, but it sounds like a mess. Sources say Bella was visibly over it, and they didn’t leave on speaking terms.
But here’s where things get interesting, TMZ casually mentions that “several party guests” complained to “top executives at YSL” about Fai’s behavior. How do they even know that? Like, who’s spilling that specific tea? I’m thinking this could be someone from inside YSL, specifically someone in PR who knows exactly how to feed the media. It’s not the first time a fashion house has used a little leak to tweak their narrative. Warning shots pew pew!
I wouldn’t be shocked if Fai’s already “too busy” to show up at the next show.
High fashion Twitter has their pitchforks ready
now on to another evil queen vs the people’s princess….
Gal Gadot, Charmless in Chloé
I’ve been sitting back, popcorn in hand, watching this Snow White mess unfold like it’s a reality show, and Rachel Zegleris somehow the villain in everyone’s eyes. This girl’s out here refusing to delete her ‘Free Palestine’ post, even though Disney execs and producer Marc Platt literally flew out to beg her. Iconic. I stan her backbone—she’s 23 and already got more guts than half of Hollywood. Love that for her, love that for us.
But the worst part of this whole dumpster fire is seeing Little Miss IDF Barbie Gal Gadot running around dressed by Chloé for the Snow White premiere like she’s not a walking red flag. Sorry to be vulgar but for the brand to be working with her for a second time is a straight-up shit stain on Chemena Kamali’s tenure as creative director. Chloé’s supposed to be the brand for cool girls—effortless, artsy, vibe-check-passing queens. Gal Gadot hosting a screening of IDF-produced propaganda flicks does not pass the vibe check. Strike 2 Chemena.
On the damage control front…..
The BIEBER BLITZ
Let’s unpack this—there’s something strangely calculated about this wave of Justin Bieber stylist stories popping off right now. First, we have the internet sleuthing around his health, his connections to Diddy, and that viral 7-part TikTokseries stirring endless speculation about his marriage to Hailey. And then, just when the chatter hits a peak, here comes a slew of headlines about his "new fashion era." Coincidence? I think not.
Jenna Tyson is a strong choice for Justin’s new style direction—her styling is fresh, and his looks are a solid win. But this isn’t a brand-new dynamic for them. Fashion’s always been their go-to tool for controlling the narrative, whether it’s leaning into it or dodging it. Remember Hailey’s genius “nepo baby” shirt? That was peak strategy: a cheeky move that both owned the discourse and shut down the noise.
Now, with health rumors swirling and relationship gossip getting louder, this style shift is giving deliberate move from the same playbook. It’s a subtle, low-key way for them to signal, “We’re good,” while sidestepping all the messy shit. Fashion’s a lightweight flex that way—it gets the fandom buzzing without having to address the heavy personal drama. Looking forward to the fits.
You know who else threw one…..
Cardi’s Croc Chaos
Cardi B’s daughter Kulture turned her mom’s $60,000 yellow crocodile Hermès Birkin into a preschool art project, scribbling a ballpoint heart on it. But honestly nothing says “luxury fashion” like a a custom design.Momma didn’t see it that way though, she took to Instagram to let the world know what her daughter did to her purse. And listen, every parent’s been there, ( I’m assuming idk ) except, most parents don’t have a six-figure bag on the receiving end of their child’s creativity.
It was 14 seconds of pure chaos. The camera shakes with every delivery of the line, her voice getting progressively more defeated, but the true masterpiece here is that ink heart. That Birkin’s toast on the secondary market, but as a future heirloom? It’s got lore no Hermès stamp can touch.
on to another celebrity whose closet I’m watching
Doechii Do See
I love when celebrities and their teams pay attention to the internet and actually engage with what’s going on. So, here’s a fun one: Designer Handsome Girly tweeted about a new set she made, and a user quotes it, casually saying, “We all know who this would look good on”—and everyone instantly jumps to Doechii. Fast forward to today, and Doechiiherself tweets, “Guess what ended up on my styling rack?”—and it’s the exact outfit.
