ICYMI #014 : Wintour’s Bezos-Sanchez wedding reign, Incompetent Arnaults, Fashion FRAUDS, Kim K’s Fake Furniture & Selfish Selfridges
Some are nailing it. Some are failing it.
Happy Tuesday everyone! Raise your hand if you’re falling for all the fake fashion announcements for April Fools. ( the Charli XCX Balenciaga one may have made me pause for a second ). Anyways I have an Onijah Robinson update via Yasmin who I interviewed on here last week. Apparently she’s in a hospital in Dubai. Officials thought it would be best safety wise as she was drawing too much attention to herself. She’s allegedly in contact with her family and wants to return home but she’s not yet cleared. Dubai has put a media blackout on her case according to Yasmin’s source. I’ll keep you all updated.
Now onto today’s ICYMI…
I've officially found my new hyperfixation. I need to be boots on the ground reporting from the Bezos-Sanchez wedding in Venice this summer. I'm fascinated by rich people who rich right—but even more so when they rich wrong.
And who better to oversee the fashion of it all than Anna Wintour who loves pulling double duty as puppet master to the ultra-rich. In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Wintour has reportedly taken on the role of fashion czar for the nuptials, personally guiding Lauren Sánchez to Oscar de la Renta for her custom bridal gown. (I smell a Vogue cover coming.) Given that Sánchez’s last major style moment was dressing for Trump’s inauguration, it was time she enlisted the most professional, and expensive—advice money could buy.
And then there’s Domenico Dolce, who apparently can’t keep a secret. According to Morris Ceron, director general of the Venice council, Dolce was the first to spill the tea about the Bezos-Sánchez wedding seven months ago, kicking off a full-scale campaign to bring the event to Venice. Which worked.
A local news site, Corriere del Veneto reports that the city’s top luxury hotels, including the Aman Venice and the Gritti Palace, are fully booked, and Bezos has reportedly secured the entire fleet of Venice’s water taxis to ferry guests between venues including to his $500 million mega-yacht Koru being stationed in the lagoon. ( it’s way too big for the Grand Canal ).
The only thing that would shock me about this wedding is if it doesn’t end up as a Amazon Prime Video special.
speaking of television….
White Lotus, Blue Devils
Have you guys seen the latest Valentino ad, I mean, episode of White Lotus? At this point, they’re practically beating us over the head with the product placement but apparently, not everyone is thrilled to see their brand getting free promo. Duke University issued the academic equivalent of “keep my name out your mouth” after Jason Isaacs’s Timothy Ratliff—a wealthy Duke alum and alleged financial criminal—spirals into a full meltdown. His storyline has it all: federal indictments, stolen anti-anxiety meds, and Parker Posey as his blissfully unaware, self-medicating wife. Then comes the scene, a very trippy dream sequence where Ratliff, clad in his Blue Devils finest, appears to be contemplating a murder-suicide.
Duke was not with the shit. “Duke University did not approve the use of its marks in The White Lotus,” the school’s VP of communications huffed, adding that the portrayal “does not reflect our values.” Sir, with all due respect, have you met your alumni? And I say this as someone who went to college in North Carolina. ( Any ECU Pirates here? ). Anyways the school is also upset about the scene’s depiction of suicide, given its impact on college communities. Which is a valid point, but in my opinion & personal experience, White Lotus got their portrayal of Duke grads pretty spot on. *shrugs*
Anyway, Duke is using this scandal to push mental health awareness, which is probably the best possible outcome of having their brand tangled up in this mess.
while we’re on the topic of mental health… I’d hate to be Christine Hunsicker today….
CaaStle Chaos
my god did Axios get a scoop.
CaaStle, the fashion-tech company that once promised to revolutionize clothing rentals, is now circling the drain in what could be one of the biggest startup frauds ever. According to Axios, the company is nearly broke, its employees are on a two-week furlough, and its founder, Christine Hunsicker, has been accused of falsifying financial statements, fabricating audit opinions, and misrepresenting the company’s capitalization, all while still trying to raise money as of last week.
If you’ve never heard of CaaStle, the company was basically Shopify for clothing rental, a white-label rental platformthat let brands like Ralph Lauren, Banana Republic, and Express launch their own subscription-based rental services. Instead of consumers buying clothes outright, they could pay a monthly fee to borrow items, with the option to purchase. The model was marketed as a sustainability play (fewer clothes in landfills!), but also as a way for brands to keep customers locked into a cycle of perpetual wardrobe updates.
In theory, it was a smart business. In reality? The company seems to have been a financial house of cards. The board now says law enforcement is investigating Hunsicker, who has since resigned, but the big question is: how did no one catch this sooner? The board had some high-profile names, including a former Alphabet ( world's third-largest technology company ) chairman, and CaaStle raised over $530 million from investors like Bill Ackman ( billionaire hedge fund manager, founder and chief executive officer of Pershing Square Capital Management ) who now appear to be completely wiped out.
Meanwhile, Hunsicker has also been busy with a new venture, P180, an inventory monetization company that recently took a majority stake in Vince and a minority stake in Altuzarra. Axios reports that P180 appears to be using CaaStle’s technology, though legally, it’s a separate entity. The timing is... interesting, to say the least, considering P180 was reportedly raising up to $200 million as recently as last month.
It’s giving Theranos, it’s giving FTX, it’s giving tech industry learns nothing, ever.
speaking of lawsuits….
Kim Kardashian’s Fake Furniture Fiasco
Kim Kardashian’s “quiet luxury” furniture scandal is still alive and kicking, much like the very real, very expensive Judd Foundation lawsuit she tried (and failed) to get dismissed. A federal judge just ruled that the case against Kardashian and Clements Design must go on, meaning we’re officially in the era of “litigating the vibes.”
The Judd Foundation is suing Kim for flaunting what they claim are fake Donald Judd pieces in a now deleted SKKN BY KIM office tour video, which was meant to show off the brand’s “chic,” ultra beige aesthetic. The Foundation says these were bootleg Judds sold to her by Clements Design, and that by flexing them to millionsof viewers, Kardashian created the false impression that Judd’s estate actually co-signs her dystopian skincare empire.
Kim’s defense? “This is just me sharing my life! First Amendment!” But the judge called BULLSHIT, ruling that the SKKN video was obviously an ad. Because we know nothing in the Kardashian cinematic universe happens by accident.
Meanwhile, Clements Design also tried to wriggle out of this by arguing that Judd’s furniture isn’t protectable because it’s just... functional. The court, again, was not having it. The Foundation argued that Judd’s work is not just some boxy wooden furniture but a deeply considered artistic expression, and the judge agreed. Also, that cute little “in the style of Donald Judd” note on an invoice? Yeah, the court was not convinced it was just an innocent description either.
Unless they settle, Kim and Clements Design are going to have to fight this one out. In the meantime, Judd’s furniture still remains the ultimate flex for the art crowd and an expensive lesson in why you don’t cut corners on your $60 million office.
another person feeling the pain of an expensive lesson…. Bernard Arnault
An Incompetent Arnault
Frédéric Arnault is officially getting exiled from Tag Heuer and sent off to Loro Piana. But don’t get it twisted it’s not exactly a promotion. After seven years of “strategic errors” La Lettre reports, the heir to the LVMH empire is being quietly shuffled to a safer brand. The truth is, Frédéric’s time at Tag Heuer has been... let’s say, less than stellar.
The company reportedly had some real issues under his watch ( ha ha ) financial losses and an inflexible management style.
But never fear—Jean-Christophe Babin is swooping in to fix the mess, and Frédéric gets to quietly retire into the luxury cocoon of Loro Piana, where the only thing at risk of being ruined is a cashmere sweater. The new role is basically a corporate time-out. Think of it as sending Frédéric to the billionaire’s version of a padded cell.
if you ask me a certain Yellow British retailer could use one too…
Selfish Selfridges
Let’s talk about Selfridges today, because this is some grade-A bullshit.
Floyd Mayweather, aka Money, tipped the Selfridges security guards £2,000 during a shopping spree (because of course he did). And here’s where it gets fucked up. Selfridges bosses decided the guards can’t keep the tip. Nope, they must donate it to charity instead. Because why not take money away from the people who actually had to protect this walking money machine?
The guards, understandably, are pissed. They don’t get paid a ton, and a tip like that could’ve meant a nice bonus for them. But no, Selfridges has decided that charity (with no receipts or say from the guards) is the answer. Meanwhile, the personal shoppers got to pocket their tips, which were £3,000 each. So, basically, the security guards who literally had to look after Mayweather’s entourage while he dropped £200,000 in the store are left empty handed.
And guess what…it gets worse. The guards asked to know which charity the money was going to and were refused. Even worse still, they weren’t even allowed to choose the charity. Selfridges is on a whole new level of corporate greed on this one and it stinks of a lack of respect for the workers who make sure the store runs smoothly. JUSTICE FOR THE SECURITY GUARDS!!!
BTW It’s honestly no surprise that Selfridges is getting caught in a messy PR storm over money….especially when the numbers behind the scenes are so ugly. The luxury department store chain has lost over £400 million since it last saw a pre-tax profit, which was back in 2020. Just last year, they reported a £41.9 million loss, stacking on top of prior losses of £39.3 million, £121.5 million, and £217.2 million.
Speaking of inflated egos and hot air…..
I’m high key obsessed with this lady on Tiktok making wigs out of balloons…. the next big beauty…burst?
Sadly I am too old to see the aging Bezos and his lovely bride, say in 20 or 30 years time. They will be stretched and primped to the n'th degree. But very fashionable !